Down the Rabbit Hole

Last Tuesday, at 7pm, Blair students (including myself, Ravyn, Natalie, and Conor) presented "Down the Rabbit Hole", a collection of one-act plays directed by Maya Davis and Clare Lefebure. The evening was a rousing success, and lots of fun for both the actors and the audience.

I was in a one-act called "Variations on the Death of Trotsky", which was comprised of eight short scenes on how Trotsky's death might have gone. According to the one-act (and verified by Wikipedia), on August 20, 1940, a Spanish communist named Ramon Mercader smashed a mountain-climber's axe into Trotsky's skull in Coyoacan, a suburb of Mexico City. Trotsky died the next day. The eight scenes showed Trotsky's discovery of the axe in his head (aided by his long-suffering wife) and subsequent acceptance of his death. Since there were eight variations, and each required Trotsky to die at the end, the directors decided to split the stage, and have two Trotskys and two Mrs. Trotskys each do four variations. Variations 1, 3, 5, and 7 were performed by Nick Byron as Trotsky and me as Mrs. Trotsky, and 2, 4, 6, and 8 were performed by Ben Lickerman as Trotsky and Ravyn as Mrs. Trotsky. Conor, as Ramon Mercader, walked between the two couples as needed.

This was my first experience in the one-acts, as well as my first experience on the Blair stage, and it was very enjoyable. I've been seeing Maya and Clare in shows since I was in 5th grade, and I admire them both very much, so it was extremely cool getting to work with them on the one-acts. My next Blair theatre project is "Taming of the Shrew/The Tamer Tamed", for which rehearsals started last Wednesday, and which will be performed at the end of January/beginning of February. I'm playing Hortensio, which is going to be a challenge in several ways. First, I have a fair number of lines, which is both terribly exciting and somewhat frightening, as learning lines--especially Shakespeare--isn't easy. Second, I'm playing a man: I used to play men a lot when I was younger, but haven't played one in about a year and a half, and have certainly never played a man whose characterization mattered this much, and I anticipate the physicality requiring some amount of work on my part. However, since I'm really excited about this show and determined to do well in it, I am choosing to see these challenges as opportunities.

Sorry. Got a little off-track there. More about the one-acts! We had tech for the week prior to the performance, but, following the informality associated with the one-acts, it was not particularly intense. On the one hand, that was pretty nice; on the other, I would've liked to have had a little more preparation with costumes, props, lighting, etc--we didn't get costumes until the day before the show, we got several props the day of, and we didn't rehearse the proper lighting until the actual show. The audience didn't really notice, and it didn't present much of a problem, but it gave me more anxiety than I think was absolutely necessary. I bought knee-high nylons for my costume an hour before the show, practiced flipping open the hand-held makeup mirror with one hand for the first time right before we went on, and did not realize how absolutely pitch-black the audience was until I was actually saying lines out to the audience. It is like looking into a black hole. Also, the Trotskys had never practiced with the "axe-heads" (headbands with plastic knives attached to them, to look like they had weapons in their skulls) or with the classic Trotsky beard and mustache, and both lost their mustaches and axeheads at least once if not several times.

Nevertheless, the one-acts were terrific. Brief overview:

"Bedtime": about two little girls discussing God, "forever", death, and the apocalypse at bedtime. Performed by Mikayla Cleary and Sarah Wilson.

"Laundry and Bourbon": a hilarious and sad one-act featuring a couple of Southern women folding laundry, drinking bourbon, watching TV, and gossiping, in the heat of a summer afternoon. Performed by Natalie Behrends, Mia Massimino, and Anabel Milton.

"Funeral Parlor": an eccentric man comforts a grieving widow at the reception following a funeral. Performed by Peter McNally and Laura Kennedy-Long.

"Ron Bobby Had Too Big a Heart": when prom doesn't go as planned, two girls get revenge. Performed by Emma Bergman and Meg Lebow.

"Variations on the Death of Trotsky": variations...on the death of Trotsky. Performed by Nick Byron, Ben Lickerman, Zoe Johnson, Ravyn Malatesta, and Conor James.

"The Boy Who Ate the Moon": a boy comes to a doctor's office with a rather unusual problem: he has eaten the moon. Performed by Sam Dembling and Calley Mayer-Marks.

"The Philadelphia": a man is stuck in a state of being called a 'Philadelphia' where he can get anything except what he wants. Hey, we're all got to be somewhere. Performed by Aaron Posner, Alex Michell, and Dana Cook.

The Cure

"The government has created a perfect society. Through Citizens United to Revitalize Equality, or C.U.R.E., no citizen goes hungry: if citizens are struggling in any way with money, unemployment, or disease, the government provides food for them via N.U.R.S.E. Nancy, or Network Used to Ration Supplementary Eatables. A suffering family will receive a visit from a Nurse Nancy within the week. If they are ill, the food is enhanced with medical spray. The standard of living has reached an unprecedented high. Every citizen is healthy. Every citizen is equal. Every citizen is happy.

Except for one. Jess’s parents were on C.U.R.E. for over a year. Now they are dead. In terror, Jess runs. She meets Anna, a Nurse Nancy who has begun to question the food aid she has been distributing. Together, they must somehow untangle the web of government secrets to learn the truth about the C.U.R.E., and what is really happening to their citizens."

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This is our Dystopian Trailer Project, created by myself, Ravyn, Esther, and Song-Binh over the past month or so. We've had lots of fun and many adventures, which took us from school to Value Village to my house to the editing suite, and then to another computer when our computer literally died. The development of the story and subsequently the trailer was really cool to watch and experience: from our first story idea, which was terrible, to the final color-correcting and music-editing touches, we've learned a lot. We hope you enjoy the trailer.

Capture the Fall

Two hours on a Sunday morning. Gorgeous day--65 degrees and sunny. Perfect for wandering around my neighborhood and Sligo Creek with a camera in hand. So that's what I did. Used Windows Live Movie Maker and Free Music Archives. Pretty simple. Pretty fun. 

Election Day Joys

Everything is beautiful, and nothing hurts.

Obama was re-elected President. Maryland citizens passed the Dream Act. Maryland, Washington, and Maine have granted all citizens the right to marry. Minnesota citizens struck down a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. In Massachusetts, Elizabeth Warren was elected Senator. In Virginia, Tim Kaine was elected Senator. The list of victories goes on.

Maryland approving same-sex marriage was probably the most exciting and stressful part for me, because that was the election I was most invested in. Over the past two months, I've gone canvassing four times, in addition to electioneering at voting areas, because granting equality to all Maryland citizens under the law was and is very important to me. Both canvassing and electioneering aren't as awkward as one might think they would be, but they certainly are exhausting. Walking around neighborhoods talking to people for four or five hours at a time wasn't easy, but it was rewarding, both in the results of the election and in the responses I got from people. I canvassed mainly in liberal areas--Silver Spring, Bethesda, Glenmont--and talked to some very nice people. I'm introverted, but I like people, and I like meeting new people, particularly people who are excited about the same issues as me. The vast majority of people were supportive, and those who weren't were usually polite about it. On a whole, people don't slam doors in your face, and the one person who lectured me about sinful acts did so with a smile on her face, in a condescending voice. I got the feeling she thought she was teaching me good, wholesome life lessons, that maybe she could change this young person's mind and save me from the devil. Sorry. It didn't work.

(That's a lie. I'm not sorry).

Canvassing also ended up being a good bonding experience for me and my mom. The first time I went, they partnered me up with a nice woman who had gone canvassing before, but the second time I was by my lonesome self. Since I can't drive, I took the Metro out to my canvassing area, before realizing that I didn't have enough money to get home. I canvassed for five hours, then called my parents to pick me up. I got a cup of ice water from a couple of nice ladies who were doing something in their garage, and then sat on the curb for forty-five minutes talking to my sister on the phone. After this experience, my mom didn't want me to go canvassing alone, so she came with me, which was lovely. I don't get to spend enough time with my mom, and canvassing, in the sheer amount of walking, provides great conversational time. The first time, when we were in Bethesda, I did most of the talking, and my mom offered the people literature about the issue; the second time, I was tired and made my mom do the talking, which luckily she saw as me forcing her to confront her shyness and talk to strangers, as opposed to me just being lazy.

I also signed up to volunteer at voting areas on Election Day. This meant that I arrived at Kennedy HS at 6:20 in the morning to give the election judge a piece of paper that meant I was certified by Marylands for Marriage Equality to be at the voting area, giving out material and talking to voters. According to the rules, I was not allowed to enter the voting area itself, but I was welcome to stand outside, and catch whatever people I could. So that's what I did.

The fun part about electioneering is that you can be as obnoxious as you want: while I tried not to annoy people, and didn't interrogate or talk with anyone who clearly wanted to be left alone, I did my best to be as loud, cheerful, and direct as possible. When someone approaching the entrance was within ten or fifteen feet of me, I called out, "Hello, [ma'am/sir]! Please vote *for* Question 6 in order to support marriage equality!" and gave them literature (a leaflet with quotes from people (including Democrats and Republicans, religious leaders, and Michelle Obama) detailing why marriage equality should be approved. Regardless of what they said (or didn't say--some people just ignored me entirely), I'd say, "Thank you for your support [ma'am/sir], have a lovely day." In my head, I referred to it as practicing relentless cheerfulness and optimism. I don't know how effective electioneering is: most people come to the voting area with their votes figured out, or make snap decisions based on values. There were certainly people that I handed literature to who said, "Vote for Question 6?...Okay." These seemingly opinionless people are the probably the voters who made a difference: if a large part of people really wanted equality to pass, and a large part really didn't, the ones in between were the ones we had to sway.

This isn't to say I didn't meet people with strong opinions, but rather that I really couldn't tell which way the election was going to go. As one voter put it, we were "cautiously optimistic" about our chances, but the opinions I got from people were split just about down the 52-48 percent lines. One guy high-fived me. Several people expressed their excitement about it, and their hopes for its passage. People thanked me for coming out and supporting it, and for doing what was best for my country. A very nice lesbian couple gave me hugs.

But not everyone was rainbows (heh) and sunshine. When I asked people to vote for Question 6, people looked furious. "No", "Of course not", and "Certainly not" were common responses. One man pulled his wife closer to him and put his arm around her, as if to protect her from me and all the other crazies out there. One African woman with a thick accent ranted "No! Question 6 is no!" Her friend asked her which one Question 6 was. She answered, "Homosexuals marrying!" and continued muttering unhappily under her breath, darting angry glances at me as she walked up the steps. In general, the people saying no were middle-aged or (more often) elderly, and either wealthy whites, immigrants with thick accents, or very religious Christians. One elderly African-American woman with a cross around her neck spoke to me kindly, explaining that it just wasn't Biblical. I smiled, and told her to have a nice day. She told me to "take care, sweetie."

Other than her, the nicest person who was against Question 6 was a woman in her thirties who reminded me of Jennifer Garner in that she was very pretty, with soft, wavy brown hair, and looked like an extremely kind lady. Some people just look nice. She told me very sweetly that she didn't feel she could support it. I didn't really mind responses like that. My least favorite person, however, was an elderly man who, after hearing my pitch, turned around, glared me in the eye, and said--or, rather, spat--that it was the "most repulsive thing" he'd ever heard of. I had a couple of knee-jerk responses to that, none of which I said out loud (I thanked him for his opinion, and told him to have a nice day). My first thought was, "Don't hurt yourself, honey." He was clearly very old, perhaps in his 80s, and it seemed that the force of his hatred for me and the issue might break him. That much hatred can't be good for you. I wonder if anyone's ever done a study on the effect of bigotry on the heart. It's probably a leading cause of heart attacks. My second thought was, "You must be incredibly sheltered if loving couples getting married is the most repulsive thing you've ever heard of." Even if you don't think it's "Biblical", or if you consider it sodomy, what about war? What about poverty? What about starvation and genocide and mass rapings? You're clearly unconcerned with human rights and equality, but can gay people getting married really be more repulsive than the millions of people who have died in combat, who continue to die in combat, for no good reason? If you want to direct hatred against something--and, again, I don't think hatred is healthy, but whatever--direct it against a worse sin than love. Regardless of your opinions on it, murder and suffering should really be much more repulsive to you than love.

My last thought to that man was one of sadness, that he may not get a chance to reverse his beliefs, to be on the right side of history. Fifty years from now, this is no longer going to be an issue. My grandchildren will look at people like that man the way we look at 19th-century racists and slave-owners, marvelling at their stubbornness and irrational hatred, wondering how anyone could be so intolerant of something so ordinary. That man will be an emblem of bigotry. Did he deserve that? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he's just following what his parents told him when he was little. It's just a shame that they were wrong. A lot of people brought their children to the voting area, to show them what was going on, what 'civic duty' entails. One of the women who ignored me entirely was holding the hand of an adorable little girl with a pink knit hat designed to look like a pig. It made me sad to think what was being put in her precious little head, beneath her precious little hat. But, with any luck, she will be growing up in a country that embraces equality. Even her parents can't ruin that.

We made history on Tuesday. But there's still a lot of history left.

Juggling

I like to juggle. I learned when I was about seven, but was (understandably) frustrated with the amount of practice it takes to be good, and so practiced only intermittently through the years. Then, in seventh grade, I got fairly good at juggling so I could do it in a show ('Annie Get Your Gun' at Act Two Performing Arts). I juggled in last year's third-quarter interdisciplinary (the USO Show), and am now practicing constantly to be able to do it in another show ('Pippin' at Imagination Stage). Last Sunday I was at the Renaissance Festival, and I spent at least half an hour at the Juggling Station, just talking to the instructors and learning tricks. I had never before attempted tricks, chiefly because I wasn't confident about my ability to juggle normally (technically called the three-ball cascade), let alone do tricks. However, as one of the instructors pointed out to me, the trick that everyone can do--beginners and masters--is called gravity. No matter what, the balls will fall. If dropping balls makes you a bad juggler, there is no such thing as a good juggler. (This can be construed into a life lesson if you look closely enough). So--with the enthusiastic prompting of the instructor, who, after many minutes had passed and I had not made any progress, looked at me seriously and said, "I believe in you"--I learned how to do an outside throw.



As the guy in the tutorial says, outside throws are the easiest tricks you can do with three balls. The chief difficulty with it is reversing the pattern: by this point, I've developed a lot of muscle memory for the three-ball cascade, and it was initially very hard for me to ignore that. However, after practicing for probably a total of 2 or 3 hours, I'm pretty comfortable with the outside throw (by which I mean that my only flaws with it are my regular juggling flaws, not flaws related to the trick itself. I can't always do it 'cause the balls hit each other mid-air, but that's because I have issues with throwing them high and loose, which is how you're supposed to do it to give yourself maximum room to work). Next time I practice (probably tomorrow afternoon), I'm going to work on doing the outside throw from the other hand; once I can do that, I'll work on tennis, and finally on reverse cascades.

I'm really excited by this new trick: not only because it's cool to be able to do tricks (it used to really irritate me when people asked me to do tricks, because regular juggling is plenty hard enough to learn, but now even I'm bored with the three-ball cascade), but because now I know I can do it. I learned a trick. It took me a while, and a lot of practice, but I did it and I'm proud. Now I can move on to new ones, even cooler ones, even harder ones. I'm excited. Are you? You should be. Because you can do it, too. Juggling is genuinely not as hard as it looks. Well--that's a lie. In the beginning, it is WAY harder than it looks. Then it gets easier, as everything must, if you just practice. Do yourself a favor, and get some juggling balls. Not tennis balls, though those are good to start with--juggling balls are better because they fit in your hand better and they don't bounce when you drop them. (Dropping balls is more frustrating if you have to chase them). Then practice. There are some very good juggling tutorials online, including the one below.



My goal is to master the ones shown below:



Wish me luck.

A Short Explanation

With my second post comes a confession:

I am obsessed with women's professional soccer.

It started last year with the 2011 FIFA Women's World Cup, and worsened dramatically with the 2012 Olympics. Now, I spend an embarrassing amount of time on www.ussoccer.com, on trying to make Youtube (which is sporadic at best on my computer) play ussoccerdotcom's videos, and on my Tumblr, which I use solely to follow various players' schedules, tweets, and photos (as well as for Andrea Gibson--see previous post). I reference players and particularly exciting games in daily life, usually to people who have no idea what I'm talking about and who could really care less. When I'm bored, I consider upcoming games, the latest roster and training camps, player nicknames, favorite moments, etc. If I am having a bad day, or just need to remember that goodness, beauty, and awesome still exist in the world, I watch soccer.

This might seem a little odd. That's okay. You will understand soon enough.



Andrea Gibson

Two Novembers ago, my best friend showed me this video:


"Birthday", by Andrea Gibson

It is not an teenager's overemotional exaggeration to say that it changed me.

Her name is Andrea Gibson. She is a spoken-word artist. She writes about everything from love to earmuffs to war to God to gender to class issues, and it is all amazing. She is powerful and funny and touching and awe-inspiring. Her words give you hope, some sort of belief that things might be okay, but they also hold the truth of the world's brutality up to your face. Her words are always in my head. She is eminently quotable. I'm not sure how much of my brain space she occupies, but it is a sizable amount. For every situation, there is a relevant line, and I've listened to it so many times that I can hear her voice. My writing has changed--for the better, but also for the more emotional, for the longer sentences, for the curious and curiouser. I can't help thinking in poetry--thinking in romantic, thinking in metaphors, thinking in references and adaptations. Sometimes, when I'm bored, I see how many poems I can recite by heart. There's a lot of them. I have her two books ("Pole Dancing to Gospel Hymns" and "The Madness Vase"), as well as her CDs "Yellowbird" and "Flower Boy". She signed both the books and "Flower Boy". I have seen her in person twice, at the University of Mary Washington and the University of Virginia. It was all of the happy words I know.

Part of the reason she has such a grasp on my mind and heart is that she was the first spoken-word artist I ever heard. (Spoken-word is also called slam poetry, but I prefer spoken-word, because it's less violent and less intimidating). Spoken-word has basically revolutionized the way I think about writing. Another spoken-word artist that I like, Sarah Kay, talks about everything and anything being poetry--that people are often stunted by the idea that nothing that they experience or think or feel could be "poetry", Poetry, the Great and Almighty Expression of Deep and Important Things. In reality, poetry is what we experience and think and feel, and you are a poet if you express that. Spoken-word is a lot about that. It can be poetic or blunt, funny or powerful, about love or war or earmuffs or anything in the world, and, oftentimes, the best part of spoken-word is that it is all of those things at once, and it helps you see all of those things in everything. And, if you just want to write about laundry, or hugs, or cupcake-making, that's okay too. That is okay, too. It is okay to be who you are and think what you think and feel what you feel and write what you write. You're okay, too.

I have never tried doing it for myself. (Well, okay, that's not entirely true. I talk constantly when I'm alone--some people refer to it as talking to yourself, but that's not strictly true, as I'm not actually talking to myself. I'm talking out into the open. Some people refer to that as talking just to hear yourself talk, and that may be strictly true, but it's not as narcissistic as it sounds--it helps me organize my thoughts. Anyway, when I talk to the open, I often speak in rhythms and rhymes reminiscent of Andrea Gibson poems, and I vent emotionally and try to make it semi-poetic. If I come up with anything I like, I write it down). However, I'm planning on going to a meeting of Blair's Slam Poetry Club next Thursday, just to see what it's like, experience the people, and maybe--maybe--get inspired. Wish me luck.

Some Poems to Check Out (About One/Millionth of Zoe's Favorites)
Birthday
The Nutritionist
Jellyfish
I Sing the Body Electric, Especially When My Power's Gone Out
How It Ends
Photograph
Maybe I Need You
I Do
Crab-apple Pirates
The Vinegar Club
A Letter to the Playground Bully, from Andrea, Age 8 1/2
Pole Dancer
Asking Too Much

--Okay, I'll stop there. My actual list of favorites is way too long.

www.andreagibson.org
http://andrewgibby.tumblr.com

(Ooh. A short note on Andrea Gibson's tumblr page--she posts not poems, but these absolutely brilliant and incredible and wonderful paragraphs about the smallest things that mean so much. Please please please check them and her out).